What we loose
by PseudonymsR4Squares
Summary: dawn jumps instead of buffy. what does spike think? what is left behind, or who? will there be a second chance?im not that great but please read anyway!thanks and enjoy!


A/n- ok so it goes like this. I love angst, and spike, and well salty goodness but that's not the point. Have

you ever wondered what would have happened if Dawn had been the one to jump instead of Buffy? What

would she be leaving behind? Who would she be leaving behind? Would anyone care that's she's gone.

What would happen to the dimensional portal now that the key has been lost and the door locked? Would

She be missed? By anyone?

If you have ever wondered these questions then I'm here to help provide the answers from my point of

view. The answers might not be the ones you want, but it's the best I can do. Angst, WIP, but in the end

there is always hope.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The credit all goes to Joss Whedon. I hope my story does the characters justice.

Pairings: Dawn/Spike ? ? ?

Read and review. Enjoy!

AT the TOWER Dawn's POV 

It's started. Once the blood flows only when it stops will the portal close. I have to jump.

I have to die to save the world. I have to leave everyone I love behind. Buffy, Willow,

Xander, Anya, and the one I love most of all, Spike. I know I love him. He's my hero, the

only one I will ever get to have. The only one that will ever really matter. I'm gonna miss

him the most out of everyone. I wish I didn't have to but look what's happening. Spike's

cutting my bonds. He just beat this really ugly toad thingy up. My hero, my champion.

I love you. With all that I am.

End dawn's POV

Spike's POV

What's happening? I can't get through all these bloody minions that belong to that stupid

Glory chit. Where's my Dawn? I need to find her. I know that she's on that tower but I

can't bloody get there. Stupid minions. Just wanta rip their soddin' throats out. I have to

get up there. Fast. Finally got a path to those rickety stairs. God, how many of these

soddin' things are there. Faster, almost to the top. Finally, wait, what's that git doin' to

my nibblet? Shallow cuts? What does he mean. Holy shit, he better not be doin what I

think he's doin. I have to stop him. Wait is this freak really tryin' to stop me? What a

bloody riot. God once this is over give me the chance to laugh my ass off. Good, pushed

him off, should be nothin' left but a pile of goo. Poor nibblet, what did he do to you?

You're cryin, oh how I hate to see you cry, see you in pain, I wish I could stop it. What

are you thinkin about. Those aren't tears of pain, you're sad. What are you gonna do. Shit

that blasted portal opened. No, you can't.

End Spikes POV

Normal

Dawn: Spike I have to go.

Spike: No, please don't.

Dawn: Spike I have to. Look what's happening! It won't stop till it has the blood. My blood.

Spike: But I don't want you to leave me. I don't want to be alone!

Dawn: you won't be Spike. I promise. You'll always have me, even when I'm gone. I'll always love you. That's why I can't let you die.

Spike: Dawn there has to be some other way. I love you

Dawn: Spike you know just as I do that there is no other way to stop this. I love you so much. I want you to live. For me. I want you to be happy. Please.

Spike: I don't know if I can.

Dawn: I don't have much time. Tell buffy… tell her that I found love, and I'm happy.

I love you Spike, don't ever forget that.

Dawn's POV

I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you Spike. There's just no other way. I can't believe you love me but it feels like somehow I always knew. I wish I could come back for you. I hope you know I would do anything for you. I have to go, I have to stop this. I have to make it end. I wish I wasn't the key, and that none of this had ever happened but in some ways I don't. It was meant to be. Now I know how Buffy feels every time she has to save the world. I know how it feels to wonder if you'll survive. I even know how it feels to know you won't. I have to go. Now.

End Dawn's POV

Normal

Dawn: goodbye Spike, I'll love you forever, even after I'm gone.

Spike: I love you Dawn, I will till the day that I die again and after. I'll tell everyone what you've done, for me, and for this whole bloody world. I love you baby. I always will

Spike's POV

I watch you tears streaming down my face. I'm not supposed to be saved, I'm supposed

to do the saving. I wish that you didn't have to go, or that you could come back once your

gone. I've never loved anyone who loved me in return. At least not like I loved them. I'm

gonna miss you more than anything I've ever lost. You found me in the dark, the place I

was hiding in. I didn't know then that I would fall in love with you, but I'm so glad I

have. I wish we could have more time. It isn't fair! I've only had you for a little while

and you're already going away. It's not you're fault you're going away, but I wish so

much that we had more time. I have to watch you jump. "I love you Dawn" I shout as

you jump. I watch you do a graceful swan dive into the air only to be caught by a hell

portal your blood opened. I watch as you are being ripped apart by something unseen.

Electrocuted by your own creation. I watch as that painful wince you wear turns into a

peaceful smile. I watch as you leave the world, as you leave me. I watch as the portal

closes and you body falls to the ground. "Dawn!!!!!!" I scream running down the tower

that is already starting to fall, 3 stairs at a time. I get there in time to see your body on the

ground with that peaceful smile on your face. Oh god, if only I was faster, I could have

saved you from death, from pain, from everything. Now you're gone, really gone. It's

sinking in, and I wish it wasn't. Your…dead. I need to hold you. I feel my feet pounding

on the ground, see your body getting closer to mine. I fall to the ground, I still feel tears

coursing down my cheeks. I cradle you in my arms, nuzzling my face into your hair, still

rocking you. Trying to draw comfort from your lifeless body. Wait, is that…a heartbeat?

End Spikes POV

Dawn's POV

I'm jumping now. One last hug, and then I've got to go. Time to close this hell portal so

everyone can move on. Turning around now, I can see my last walk. My last stand

coming to a close. Really wish I had a camcorder with me, you know to record my last

moments here. My last moments with Spike. I'm jumping and as I feel the wind on my

face I change my position until I am in a swan dive. Might as well go out with a bang.

Give them all something to remember. I know I'm not supposed to be real but I think I

might be more real than a lot of people are. I understand love and life. I understand death.

God, that hurts. Feels like my souls being ripped out. At least we won. I won. Saved this

whole damned world, just for you Spike. Hope you know just how much you mean to

me. Now you can go around this place and look for a decent happy meal on legs and live

happily ever after. I love you Spike. I'll be waiting for you.

End Dawn's POV

Normal POV

The Scooby group watched as dawn's body hurdled toward the pavement, while spike

raced down the tower stairs. The realization hit them with a bang. She's gone. She's

dead. The all thought this simultaneously. Spike got off the stairs just in time to catch her

from the air but it sent him tumbling with the force. He cried, Buffy screamed and then

broke down, Xander's face went from victorious to broken, Willow crashed to the ground

with both joy and sorrow, Tara rocked back and forth trying to bring herself comfort, and

Anya stared just looking lost. They all knew what this meant, they had won, but they had

paid a high price. Many things were lost like a sister, a friend, and a confident. Other

things were lost to such as love, comfort, shelter, secrets, hope, dreams, hugs, a warm

smile. So much was taken. All because of time. The Scooby gang watched as spike cried.

They saw in him everything they had lost, it was all in his eyes when he looked at her,

her body without warmth. The thought, though unspoken, hung in the air, 'what do we do

now?' The answer was there to, hidden in their minds. 'we mourn' but what if they didn't

want to. They all listened as spike started to mumble something about losing his love, not

being fast enough, it was like he was reliving it over and over. Suddenly his head snapped

and his question, however whispered, was heard by all. " Is that…a heartbeat?"

End ch 1

A/n I know there are lost of grammar errors and stuff but I had real issues getting into character. Anyway tell me what you think…please. I'm a really bad writer but I love doing it. Puppy pout, pwease review!. I need self-esteem points people! Plus, I got the trump card, if I don't get at least 3 reviews I won't give the next chapter.

Hugs and kisses and a cookie to anyone who can answer this question, How do you say 'ice' in Japanese?

Love ya guys, see ya later


End file.
